Embracing the Suck....

Your ego can be a terrible thing. Or do I mean your pride? Or do I just mean mine?

Whatever the answer is, I decided to fight a battle with mine. When you've been fortunate enough to run at a decent level in the past, had time out, had health and injury issues, and know you'll never be back at that level, it's tempting to just hide away from the running world.

I've always said that I run for the love of running, and so was happy to have been able to get back to a place when I can just go out and run (even if those runs are shorter and slower than in the past) but something seemed to be missing. I missed the race community and camaraderie. I managed to get some of that back by going to parkrun, but even then I found myself nervous before each one, and wondered what people would think of my results nowadays.

The Netherhall 10

A chat with a good friend (who has also had injury issues and .....like me.....isn't quite as young as she was) made me realise that I should "get over myself", swallow my pride and just go back and race again. No one except me actually cares that my times are much slower and, like she said, anyone who knows me will just be happy for me that I'm actually back running at all.

Still, knowing this is easier than doing it, and it took me until Friday to enter a race on the Sunday. It was a 10 mile race (so not a common distance), a hilly course (so not designed for speedsters out to record fast times) and was a smallish local event (so I hoped I could go relatively unnoticed). A negative point was that I've previously done well in it, but a positive point was that I remembered there was a massive buffet at the end.

Warming up with my friend Anne

I admit that I nearly turned the car round several times on the way there, and my heart sank when I arrived and saw so many familiar faces (my former club was using it as part of the Grand Prix) but actually this was a blessing in disguise. I jogged with one friend before the race and another one afterwards and we had some great chats, which showed me how much I'd missed the social aspect of running and racing. 

Starting a long way from the "sharp end"

The race itself was a different issue. I started a long way back, partly because I knew that people would sprint off down the first 400m only to turn a corner and have to climb uphill for 1.5 miles, but mainly so that I wasn't tempted to chase people I'd previously have been able to beat. I settled into a pace and gradually worked my way up the field - knowing the course helped, as I knew how long that initial drag was and so went at a pace I could (just about) sustain, and found myself passing several ladies (and more men) along the way. The race finished along the main road that I'd just driven to get there, and so I'd seen signs for the last 3+ miles (funnily enough, my memory of the race in previous years was of 1.5 miles along that road so clearly my memory is failing me with increasing age too).

Just a few undulations in the race profile

I knew there was a steep climb up to that road with some "undulations" in the intervening gap, but again I'd forgotten most of them. I guess you always forget how much effort you've put into races in the past, but I really felt like I was struggling this time. I had to break the race up into tiny segments to get my head round it and not just pull out (my internal debates would have made for some interesting listening). A sharp descent (and corner) saw a few men fly past me (I've never like steep descents, but I'm even more tentative of the impact now with my dodgy bones) but surprisingly no women. I then made it a target to get to the next mile marker before a lady caught me. 

Trying not to look as if I was
suffering too much 

Just after the 7 mile marker, there was a slight variation to the route I'd previously run. It was for safety reasons, as we'd previously had to run a short stretch along the verge of the road where there was no footpath, and now we were directed sharply up to the left around a small village green and back down to the road again. My body was telling me in no uncertain terms that I'd been trying to go faster than I was capable of, so I confess that I did slow to more of a cheeky jog. This must have revived me slightly as my 9th mile was then one of my fastest. 

Both feet (just) off the ground at the finish!

The last section does have a significant downhill stretch round a couple of corners, but then the sting in the tail is the climb back up to the finish in the last 400m. Most people manage to sprint this knowing the end is in sight (and I'm sure I've done the same in the past) but this time I was "done" and felt like I could barely raise my speed above jogging pace as I crosser the line. 

Still, the time is irrelevant, as I'd actually done it, and had had a lovely time catching up with some good friends (who, as promised, were just happy to see me out running again) ......and the buffet was as amazing as I'd remembered.

Snow Shenanigans

I've definitely missed the social aspect of racing - due to living where I do, most of my running was done alone, but races were where I always had a chance to catch up with people and chat/socialise (well, races and parkruns!!). I have probably missed the effort a lot less, but as I was already going over to Durham last Saturday, I decided to brave a XC race "en route".

It was the North East Masters' XC championships and I was very anxious about just taking part. To be completely honest, I didn't know whether my ego could take it. I ran the event 2 years ago and won the ladies' race overall, but after all the problems of the last couple of years and how I've had to deal with them, I thought I'd be struggling to go with the pace of a of proportion of the field. Still, I always say that I have more respect for those runners who are still happy to compete when they're not at the top of their game, and just get stuck in and try their hardest...so it was a case of putting my money where my mouth is. That didn't make the drive over any easier...and I was tempted to go straight to Durham on several occasions.

Spot the tobogganers....

The past few days had been very cold (-6 on some mornings) and icy in SW Scotland, but we'd had clear skies. Not so for NE England, as their cloud cover meant it had been "slightly" warmer, but much snowier - in fact, all the parkruns (except 1 which was run mainly on the beach) had been cancelled that morning due to the adverse weather conditions. Unfortunately (for me), the XC wasn't cancelled and the roads weren't bad so I made it to Wallsend in plenty of time to register (and catch up with a few friends - some of whom had recently read my RED-S article in the latest issue of Athletics Weekly).

I did a lap of the course as a warm-up (wearing thermals, jacket and tights!!) and decided that it was going to be an "interesting" run. I could feel my calves (and not in a good way), especially the left one, after just a few steps, as running on snow felt like running on unstable sand. There was a trampled path from the start, but it was only about 2 foot wide, and so not much use to those of us who are slow starters and cannot sprint off, but it became easier to run as the path climbed up the first hill. A wide plateau led to the next climb but from that high point, the steep run down was through new snow (I felt I had an OK grip in my fell shoes but wondered what XC spikes would be like with no heel studs). There was then a small trod which contoured all the way round 2 sides of the park and then we had to climb back up beside some trees to the high point we'd been at previously. To make this last climb a bit more testing, there were also tobogganers using the same hill, so the last bit of our "up" was the same as the start of their "down"...ie it had become rather polished and more slippery (I did fear for a few accidents during the course of the event). It was all downhill (ish) from there to the finish, but just that one lap of jogging had exhausted me so I didn't know how I'd manage the actual race.

Making up places on the plateau

I marvelled at some of the other runners in their vests and shorts (I wasn't taking my thermal top off and kept my hands up my sleeves) and warily made my way to the startline. We were there just long enough to start freezing before we were off. As I'd predicted, a few speedsters shot off (Sharon Bulman, who won the race, was never seen again!!) and I was stuck midpack. Even when fit, I start slowly and relatively far back in the field, so I do remember running through longer grass and round bushes to pass people in those first few hundred metres 2 years ago. This time was no different, except that I also had the deeper snow to contend with. I made up more places as we started to climb, but was probably somewhere in the 20s as we reached the plateau. This short section was wide enough for me to pass a couple more, and then I picked up another couple of places going up again so that I headed off downhill in 6th, though there was a good gap in front of me.

Chasing down 3rd, 4th and 5th

Grip didn't seem too much of a problem descending (but that might be because I just cannot fling myself fast down a slope at the best of times), and I gradually closed the gap ahead of me on the narrow cambered contouring path. The first 2 ladies were way off ahead but 3,4 and 5 were all running close to each other. I caught up to them as we climbed up the hill again, but as the path was narrow and slippy, they checked my pace as I couldn't go fast enough to be able to pass them....and unsurprisingly they started to open up the gap again as we headed back down towards the start. As the slope levelled out I tried to lengthen my stride...or increase my pace...or something. Whatever I did, I managed to move up 3 places into 3rd and almost celebrated....until I realised that I still had another lap to run!

Being chased on lap 2

The second lap was definitely harder than the first, as I no longer had any girls to pass or close in on - the first 2 were well ahead of me, and I was in fear of being passed the whole time, especially as I could always hear people encouraging those behind me so knew they were close. It was nice to see a few friendly faces on the 2-way sections, and I did get a few shouts out myself (at least I think "Well Done Josie" was aimed at me!). I'd open up more of a gap on the climbs, but it always seemed to close up again and as I struggled and slipped up the last slope, I just didn't feel able to get away.

Chased down to the wire...

I heard the lady behind me getting closer and closer, so much so that I was convinced I could her every breath. Every time I stumbled in a slushy pocket I expected her to fly past. I'd actually been willing her to pass me all lap, as I wanted to give up with the excuse that I knew I was out of the medals, but as we neared the finish I really didn't want to lose it in front of everyone. Knowing that I cannot sprint for toffee, I decided to open up early, and just gunned it from the last hedge to the finish......though I probably looked like I was auditioning for "Bambi on Ice". In the end I held on to 3rd by 2 seconds, and then found out that the ladies in front of me had been in the category above and below me, so I'd somehow won the V40 gold medal!

Just rewards :-)

The best part of the run was the camaraderie afterwards as we all congratulated each other (whilst bent double and gasping for breath) just over the line, and then headed off for a nice chatty cool down (and cake courtesy of the Sunderland Strollers)!! I'm so glad that I decided to go despite my hesitation (though my calves probably won't let me forget it for some time to come)!

The long road into the future......

At first, when my injuries didn't seem to be healing, I thought that that was it for me and running. I'd never be able to run again, never mind competitively, and I'd lose all my "running" friends and social life. I've always objected to people saying "are you the runner?" as I felt that I was just a person who ran. Not running wouldn't make me less of a person, but I did still want to stay in touch with that world......so I decided that if I couldn't run, then I'd try to give something back and support others. I've worked, supported and volunteered at events, but I always wondered whether my running would have been different if I'd had some formal coaching when I started out (at least it might have stopped me developing my o so recognisable shuffling gait consisting of baby steps with no knee lift).

 

When I found out that British Athletics were running a special "Athlete to Coach" course for people who have been lucky enough to compete at a certain level. The course would take us to the Event group stage of coaching, bypassing the Coaching Assistant and Athletics Coach stages. It looked like it would take place over 6 days in Birmingham which I thought that I would be able to fit my work around......but clearly I didn't read the small print clearly enough as it was 6 days, but they were spaced over 9 months.....so I came to know the M6 rather too well for my liking!

Classroom learning

My coaching career was nearly over before it had begun, as the first day of the course was the day after I'd returned from a couple of months overseas, so to add insult to the "injury" of jetlag, my car wouldn't start and I had to wait for the repair man to come and fix it. I wondered if it was a sign, as I was already anxious enough about meeting a group of ex-international athletes (I still feel like an imposter in such company). Still, when I finally made it to the Alexandra Stadium in Birmingham, everyone was really friendly and put me at my ease. 

Floor learning

Over the course of the next 9 months, we became quite good friends and learnt a lot from each other. People seemed initially amazed and disbelieving when I talked about the distances I've raced, whereas I listened eagerly to sprinters talking about drills on the track and how to run a bend, whilst the jumpers educated us on run-ups, and the throwers on arm, foot and body positions. We would naturally gravitate into groups, eg the "endurance runners" together, but the course leaders were good at mixing us up and getting us out of comfort zones. By the time we'd finished, we'd all coached each other.....often in a discipline we weren't that familiar with, so much hilarity was had.

Trackside learning

There was bookwork, group learning, individual learning, personal projects (one week I looked into the decisions/reasons behind juniors deciding to specialise to a specific event(s) and where the momentum behind the decision comes from, on another I looked into what motivated adults to take up running.....more specifically interviewing some ladies from a "mums on the run" group, and on yet another day I brought back my findings on hill vs track intervals), practical sessions and assessments, a written exam and an assessment of session and mesocycle planning. It was hard work, but I learnt a lot, including about myself. I found it really interesting to learn from others both on the course (especially as I had to miss one of the days in Birmingham so I made up the day in Loughborough with a different group) and outwith the specific study days contacting other coaches and discussing things with them.
 



Explaining a session to the Harriers

Leading stretches after a session

Having chosen "endurance" as my speciality, I discovered that I had to be assessed on delivering sessions for steeplechase, race walking and wheelchair athletes, but the challenge kept the interest levels high (and also the panic levels). I practiced some of my sessions with local running groups and tried to get over my nervousness of speaking to groups, and picking up on/praising different things. We did the written exams online but anybody looking in through my front window at the time must have thought I was slightly crazy as I paced around the house trying to work out the way you transfer weight when race walking, or where exactly the catch and release should be on a wheelchair rim. I hardly slept the night before the practical assessments, but now that it's all over and I can call myself a fully qualified coach, I realise I'm going to miss my compadres and all the fun we've had, but who knows where it'll now lead.....

Starting all Over Again

When runners develop an injury they often take a break from the impact of running but keep up their fitness by crosstraining, whether it be on the bike, in the gym or in the pool. Unfortunately, although I had tried to do a bit of crosstraining (mainly to try to hold onto my sanity as well as some fitness) I found that it was neither fixing my RED-S nor my stress fracture. Going back to the drawing board for a last ditch "kill or cure" solution, I stopped all exercise completely. For about 6 weeks, I did no running, no cycling, no swimming, no aquajogging, no visits to the gym and in fact hardly walked more than a mile or two. After that I spent the 4 weeks gradually reintroducing some exercise, though still making sure there was no impact. I went on a few bike rides (nothing fast, but a couple of "sportives" for the endurance aspect of it.....well actually, just for the cake at the feed stations, swam a couple of times and did some hiking. All through this time I kept up my food intake (yeay) and actually managed to put on weight and fix the RED-S, so that eventually I could restart running (though I did check with my orthopaedic consultant friend, William Hage (www.williamhage.com) that this was the right thing to do).

A sportive finishes with beer...

I have to admit that it has been a struggle - I used to run for the love of running (hence why crosstraining in a gym has never held any appeal for me) but suddenly I didn't love it. It was hard. My short "easy" run loop that started and finished at my front door would take at least 50% longer and have to incorporate a couple of breaks (not due to leg pain, but lack of fitness). I feel that in some ways I've had to go back to the beginning of my running career and start from scratch all over again....building up the distance, never mind the speed. I would have to force myself out the door, as it isn't exactly pleasant to find yourself struggling to breathe when going a much slower pace than you can ever remember running before.

Or a medal....I'd rather have cake
than either!!

I've also had to maintain my calorific intake (and keep reminding myself that I'm "healthy" rather than "heavy") to ensure my hormone cycles don't go awry again. This has led me to discover the benefits of wearing capris or tights......as shorts tend to cause more chafe these days (nice) !!!



My new mantra!!!

After a few weeks, I realised that I was starting to enjoy it a bit more again - OK, so I'm not back to where I was before, but I could make it all the way round my easy loop without stopping, and then started to increase the distance or the pace on occasions. I was very reluctant to run any set distance as I knew I would find myself comparing "current me" to "former me". I decided to give myself a good talking to and get over it - no-one would care (or even notice) except myself, so I started out with a parkrun. At the end of the first one, I was bent double, gasping for air, shattered, so I thought I must have set a fast time......and then realised that I'd just about managed to run 1.5 minutes/mile slower than my best time!! Still, at least I was running again....and that was something that I'd thought I might never do again.

"Enjoying" a race again (although
maybe not breaking any records)

Since then, I find that I still have to give myself a few stern chats.....but I have done a couple more parkruns, and 2 other races. Each time I have to try to remember where I am NOW, not where I was when I stopped (though to be fair it would only take a few hundred metres of me not remembering before I would be bent over double and gasping for air again). My injuries seem to be holding up, so I'm hoping that I can now gradually regain some level of fitness in order to enjoy my running again, and so that I can travel and hang out with all my running friends again (I admit that I had been avoiding some catch-ups and races so that everyone didn't get sick of my constant moaning and grumpiness!).

When 24 people of differing ages and
abilities turn up to your track session
it can be rather intimidating!!

In the meantime, I have managed to keep up my British Athletics coaching course with trips to Birmingham and Loughborough, and am actually really enjoying designing sessions and programmes now - with some of the local runners being used as willing guinea pigs - so here's to spending a bit of time on both sides of the fence :-)

RED-S

I have never really considered myself to be a "proper" runner, still less an athlete. Don't get me wrong, I am in awe of those that have the commitment and determination to put themselves through the mill by training really hard, being strict with their diet and sacrificing a lot of their "social" life, but I see myself as more of a fun runner....running for the love of being outdoors, being fit, and discovering new cafes to run to "just to check out their cake selections". I would look at some (rather) slim runners and wonder how they had the energy to do what they did and why they didn't break. I honestly never expected to be one of those "broken" people. However, a nonhealing stress fracture, a DEXA scan showing osteopenia and a diagnosis of RED-S made me take my head out of the sand and investigate further.

I feel like I have been talking about RED-S for a while now, but I fully admit that when I first heard of it (ie when I was diagnosed with it) I did not know much about it. It is good to raise the profile of this condition as a lot more people are affected by it than realise it, so spreading the word is vital for diagnosis and treatment..

On chatting to a friend last weekend, she admitted to (very sensibly) googling RED-S when I mentioned the condition, but other people seem to think I'm talking about anaemia and red blood cells, so I thought I'd give you a little bit more information about it.

RED-S is a condition caused by low energy availability, where nutritional intake is insufficient to cover the energy demands of both exercise training and normal physiological function.

Unintentional low energy availability can arise with an increase in training load not matched with an appropriately timed increased of nutritional intake or an underestimation of energy expenditure from exercise outside of training schedule, for example active transport (eg cycling) to/from training sessions, study or work.

Intentional low energy availability is more prevalent in sport where low body weight confers a performance or aesthetic advantage, eg endurance running, cycling, dance, gymnastics.

The Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (RED-S) model was first described by the International Olympic Committee in 2014, and published in the British Journal of Sports and Exercise Medicine. Prior to this, there had been a lot of research in female exercisers, with what was known as the female athlete triad (low energy availability, menstrual disruption and impaired bone health). It is now recognised that this triad is a clinical spectrum, reflecting varying degrees and time scales of energy availability, menstrual function and bone health.

Energy availability can range from adequate, with healthy eating patterns matched to requirement, through to low  due to disordered eating and severe energy deficit with an eating disorder involving a psychological aspect. Menstrual functional can vary from regular menstruation, to lack of periods (amenorrhoea) and bone health from normal for age, through to weak bones (osteoporosis). The female athlete triad model evolved into the RED-S model as  growing evidence showed that the consequences of low energy availability can affect males as well as females, and at all ages and levels of exerciser from recreational to elite.

Presentation

• RED-S involves multiple systems and hence bone stress injury may not necessarily be the presentation; particularly in acute low EA and/or in non-weight bearing sports.
• Recurrent illness, fatigue, athletic underperformance and psychological issues rather than injury can be presenting features.
• In young athletes, RED-S may present as delayed puberty, fall off growth centiles for height and/or weight
• In any woman of reproductive age in the absence of pregnancy, whether exercising or not, if menstrual cycles are not regular then this requires medical investigation, as RED-S is a diagnosis of exclusion. The Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology (RCOG) defines primary amenorrhoea as no menarche by 16 years of age, secondary amenorrhoea as cessation of periods for >6 months in a previously regular menstruating woman and oligomenorrhoea is defined as less than 9 cycles per calendar year. this does not include withdrawal bleeds from hormonal contraceptives.
• The equivalent of normal menstrual cycles in men, is morning erections indicating reproductive endocrine axis function with adequate testosterone levels.
• Athletes with RED-S may first present with injury to a physio, eg a bone stress response, including stress fracture typically of the lower limb/pelvis.
• Recurrent soft tissue injury could also be a presenting feature of RED-S.

Management

RED-S is a diagnosis of exclusion presenting a multi-system dysfunction caused by a disrupted periodisation of nutrition, training and recovery. For an athlete to reach their full athletic potential, they must address these imbalances - reaching this potential is compromised in RED-S.

Drugs are not recommended as first line management in amenorrhoeic athletes. Oral contraception (OCP) masks amenorrhoea with withdrawal bleeds. OCP does not support bone health and indeed may exacerbate bone loss by suppressing further IGF-1 (a growth factor). Although transdermal oestrogen, combined with cyclic progesterone does not down regulate IGF-1, any hormonal intervention cannot be a long term solution, as bone loss will continue if energy availability is not addressed as a priority.

So clearly, the mainstay of management is to deal with the energy availability imbalance in terms of increasing the intake/type of nutrition or decreasing the expenditure, or a combination of both.

And finally, re me...

As for myself, I naively thought "it could never happen to me" as I've never restricted my diet, love my food, have a normal BMI and although I love running, I've never taken my training that seriously. Yes, I became amenorrhoeic about 6 years ago, but I hadn't lost really lost weight or increased my training. I do remember going away for a few days with a group of running friends at this time, but I wasn't actually running at the time as I had PF (I was helping time their sessions instead), but even so, after eating meals with all of them, I found I was still hungry and so I would go and eat extra food by myself in my room. I guess this shows that I wasn't getting enough nutrition, but I didn't realise what longterm damage might be occurring. I've previously had horrendous problems with my menstrual cycle, having been admitted to a gynae ward while a junior doctor due to pain and heaviness so I was actually happy when they seemed to stop. Since the stress fracture and the DEXA scan, I have done a lot more research on the matter and now realise that I need to be "healthier". I've been told that my fracture may never heal, but at least I have managed to treat the RED-S with a combination of eating (even more than before) and a total break from any exercise. I am no longer amenorrhoeic (humbug to remembering how horrendous periods can be all over again) and am now teaching myself that I am not so much "heavy" as "healthy"......onwards and upwards...and if I can help others learn more in advance of having to deal with fractures and osteopenia then I've achieved something!

For more information, have a look at this open access educational resource on RED-S
http://health4performance.co.uk/

On the Other Side of the Fence....

Packing again...

After having no event in 2017, the World 100k championships were back for 2018.....this time being held in Sveti Martin na Muri in Croatia. As the only female to have run under the ladies' qualification time, I had a difficult decision to make this spring when selections were being made. I could take a chance on my leg healing and be able to compete, or I could ask to be considered as part of a team (as 2 ladies had run the team standard).....but I did not want to put myself under pressure to run before I was ready and I also did not want to let the other ladies down. Luckily, British Athletics was able to use the "wild card" rule and enter a team without all of them having achieved the required standard and I was asked to go along as a team manager.

I wasn't sure if I could do it....help and support the others without just being plain grumpy at not running "my" event (in 2016 I was the sole representative of GB),  and also see all of my 100k friends from other countries, but once I'd agreed I threw myself into it. It wasn't easy as I just tried to remember what I'd wanted to know/not know prior to attending events myself, without ever saying "in my day...." or "when I ran the 100k..." to our current athletes.

There was a lot to do before the event....contacting the athletes, setting up group chats, ensuring flights and transfers suited everyone, getting the right accommodation arrangements, dealing with kit issues, working out how to include family/friends coming along, discussing race plans and nutrition, dealing with dietary requests and also any injuries arising (I liaised with both individual doctors and British Athletics to see if any TUEs were required....and luckily they weren't).

Team GB on parade

I flew out a day early (as I did not want anyone to have to go through the sagas I had in 2016....finding myself on my own at the race venue with the accommodation having been booked for the wrong dates, so I had nowhere to stay and was in danger of failing a drugs test) but I think I had enough travel dramas for the whole team (a cancelled train, a lady collapsing and fitting in the scanner queue in front of me in the airport and then a very delayed flight so I arrived at 2:30am).

My "feed station"

Once the athletes arrived there were accommodation glitches to sort, race and nutrition plans to revise, the course to be reccied, shopping to be done, technical meetings to attend, numbers to be collected, masters' entries to be paid (and then I had to work out whose number was whose and what age group they were, so that I could attach the right stickers to the right numbers), and the opening ceremony to attend. Add into this, an athlete missing a connection so having to stay a night courtesy of an airline and arriving (without his luggage) just as the opening parade started. I managed to get enough gels and drinks for him from various sources (but it did involve donating some of my GB clothing to other teams for goodwill purposes).

The race started at 7am and consisted on 7.5k out and back loops from the hotel. I was manning the GB aid station (well, I had a chair at the side of the road) at the far turnaround so I had to leave prior to 5am to get up there with everyone's drinks, gels and chews before the road was closed. It was still rather chilly and dark as I hung my flag up in the trees behind me.

Drafting Lisa in to help out

Lisa was "allowed" to offer her husband
more encouragement than the others

During the race I kept in touch with the feed station at the start/finish point of each loop, and we let each other know how the athletes were feeling and if they wanted extra things not in their race plans (which did involve begging, borrowing and swopping from other nearby country teams - I was between France and Germany). I would spot my runner coming, cross to the centre of the road to check what they wanted, and then be back at my chair ready to "stand and hand" while they went the extra 50m to the turnaround and back. It was easier at first when the lads came along followed by the lasses, but as they started lapping each other it got more complicated (and so Lisa, the wife of one of the runners, came and helped "spot" for me).

Catching up with Nikolina pre-race

Supporting Nikolina

I had caught up with several friends before the race and explained to them that although I would do my best to cheer them on during the race, my priority was the British team and so they'd have to excuse me if I ignored them on the day. Luckily, I managed to see (and shout to) my Croatian friend Nikolina (she was second and I was 3rd in Spain .....no further mention of the rule breaking we saw on that day) on every lap, as she led the ladies' race practically from start to finish finishing in a well deserved new Croatian record.

Feeding Sue on the run..

I couldn't abandon my post to see anyone finish but did run back alongside our last runner (a good friend who I've been fortunate to have run with for years), trying to encourage her for the last bit of what had been a long day out, and then whipping a Union Jack out of my bag for her to raise aloft as she ran in.

Our runners were fantastic and I felt so proud to have been able to be a part of it, even if not able to run. My job was still not done as I spent the rest of the day trying to offer individual congratulations, support, encouragement etc as it was wanted/needed.....and then making sure people felt well enough for the closing ceremony,only and that transfers and flights were all sorted for the way home.

I "think" Ant was happy with his run!!

After the race, I managed to sit down and grab a drink with a couple of our runners, and celebrate Ant's huge new PB and V40 win, but I needed to go and check up on all of the others (some were feeling a bit low as they'd found it a tough day out and one had had to DNF due to injury). I spent the rest of the day trying to offer individual congratulations, support, encouragement etc as it was wanted/needed.....and then making sure people felt well enough for the closing ceremony, and that transfers and flights were all sorted for the way home.

I took the bad luck on the way back as my airport train morphed into a rail replacement bus but I finally made it back to Scotland and fell into my bed. I'd averaged 4 hours of sleep a night since leaving home, but it was worth it as I felt I'd done a decent job (though it's a steep learning curve and so I've asked for both positive and negative feedback to improve for the future) and had been able to help share some of the enjoyment of the event. I have always run for the love of running, and so if I can help smooth the process for others so they enjoy it as much as I have done, then that's good enough for me!

Another week......another Sportive....

My non-changing X-rays 

The results are definitely in.....my leg isn't healing. I'm not sure whether to be impressed with the NHS or just its level of IT, but it did seem slightly weird to be sitting having a coffee with an old  friend (as in we've been friends for years, not as in he's in his dotage) in his kitchen, while looking at all my X-rays on his laptop. It does rather help that he's an orthopaedic surgeon (www.williamhage.com) and so has been great for discussing different treatment options. Option A was to offload the leg, rest and fix the REDS and hope for healing , but as that hasn't work, he suggested Option B ("that you might like more"). This was pretty much along the lines of what I'd been thinking.....if to gradually introduce running back in again, but be very alert to any worsening of the leg, ie more swelling or pain (Option C would be surgical fixation but this would have its own problems, eg 30% of people get anterior knee pain after tibial nailing, or large scarring and metal reactions after plating/grafting).

The main thing is to look out for my bone health, ie trying to limit/reverse the osteopenia as much as possible but keeping the REDS at bay. I think I've been managing this element quite well......without going into too much detail, I didn't have a "period party" at the end of my amenorrhoea but it almost felt like I should (the first time you think it's a fluke, but then a month later you realise you might actually be on top of this, and then another month down the line you start to relax.....well, except for remembering just what a nightmare periods and their associated pain can be every month!). 

You might think that after being told to start running, that I'd go out for some crazy long run to celebrate, but if I'm honest, I'm scared to run. Not only do I think that I've actually forgotten how to run, and I'm too unfit anyway, but I don't want to cause more harm. I think it will be difficult to work out if any "pain" that I feel is real or psychological/paranoid pain. However, I've bitten the bullet and been for a gentle run. To be honest, a lap of the grass near my parents' house (all of 5 minutes) was enough for me, as although I was barely going faster than the dog walkers, I was puffing and panting, but at least it felt OK.....and I "refuelled well" afterwards!

I will gradually try to build this back up, but not push it, so I must still look to other ways to regain my fitness. Hence this weekend saw me try another Sportive. This one was a 50 mile loop from Lanercost Priory called the Crossborder Raid as it dipped into Southern Scotland. 

The start was rather a shock to the system with a 15% climb up onto Hadrian's Wall but I really enjoyed the ride after that. Although it certainly wasn't flat (my glutes and vmos are definitely telling me that now!) the roads were practically car-free and totally new to me. We had some decent views.....though the Scottish ones weren't so impressive (but that was due to the weather as we had more rain the further north we went...and then returned to sunshine in Cumbria).

I could have done with a feedstation before the 30 mile point, but when we got there it was great...with sausages, sandwiches, cakes, crisps, fruit and hot/cold drinks. Unfortunately there wasn't any at the end, but there was a lovely cafe just nearby so a hearty meal was possible (and I had another one as soon as I got home......as I, taking the refuelling seriously). My friend Doug and I had a lovely day cycling together and chatting all the way round, but other people really didn't seem to be getting so much fun out of it. They would pass us in single file with their heads down (usually on the descents......well they'd pass me as Doug isn't a scaredy cat like I am....but then we'd almost always go past them again on the climbs) and not say a word either to us or the rest of their cycle club mates strung out behind them. It certainly didn't make us want to join a "cycling club". 

It was nice to spot the priory
and know we were almost back!

I'm no cyclist....though at the minute I'm no runner.....but I do enjoy a day out with friends (especially if there is cake involved at some point) so I think I'll keep doing it my way :-) Onwards and upwards...